Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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