Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did? Yes

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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