What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Wanna hear a joke? no

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...