Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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