A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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Homo say what?

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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