knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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