Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

You tell me. I have amnesia.

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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