How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops