Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Knock knock.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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