- Anti Joke

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

Good job, son.