How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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