A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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