Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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