what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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