Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops