What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Corn Muffins

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

thumb_up thumb_down +8

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops