why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +1

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops