What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

42

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops