Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops