To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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womens rights

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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