What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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