Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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