Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops