Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Basically

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call me maybe.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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Praise Paisley

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops