What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Ross.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops