What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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