whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +29

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A blonde dies Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops