A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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