Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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breasts

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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