What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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