Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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