Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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roses are red poo is poo

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swag

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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