What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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