Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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that wall over there ->

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops