A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

9/11

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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