I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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