Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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