Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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