Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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