Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

thumb_up thumb_down -4

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops