What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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