Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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a man checks his mypsace

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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