Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Mogok Papiti.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Your face is hilarious.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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