Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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