What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

96

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

Michael Brown

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...