Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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What's just not right? Left

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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