What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

If you have a stroke, call 000

A dog is always in the pushup position.

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

Your mother is so fat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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