What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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