What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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