What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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