How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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Obama

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Waffles ate my grandma

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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No antijoke here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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