why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

Faithful men.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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