Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Joesph Triphook.

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Brain fart

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops