A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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woman's rights

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Tony Romo

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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