Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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