Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops