How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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