why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Women's rights

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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