Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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ejaculation JLR

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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